#11688 +(218)- [X]

<Hydrac7> nothing  better than seeing the reaction on fellow classmates faces after explaining bukkake for them
<Alice`> Nothing better than seeing the reaction on fellow classmates faces' after demonstrating bukkake to them
<Aboshi> Alice: The reaction all over their faces

#349135 +(4095)- [X]

<beser> Today my History class took a feild trip to the Museum of Tolerance. Its a museum showing kids not to be prejudice and all that good stuff.
<beser> Anyways, one exhibit is two doors next to each other. One door has a sign hanging over it saying "Those with prejudice walk through this door" The other door's sign said "Those without prejudice walk through this door". Obviously the door for people without prejudice isn't openable because as the tour guide says "Everyone has prejudice".
<beser> So, I start tugging on the door and say "What the hell is wrong with this damn door, did some damn Jew make this?" and the tour guide kicked me out and i had to sit in the bus for 15 minutes

#189840 +(803)- [X]

<Kosh> in LotR all the elves sailed to the "undying lands" to the west.  Continental drift caused those lands to move further north and eventually they were left to spend eternity making toys for their new red-suited overlord

#105555 +(38)- [X]

<+fury> i envy cary... he's half my age and gets access to all the goodies :/ 
<@Chen> How old are you?
<+fury> 18


#99833 +(677)- [X]

<Lucien>  a small question.. will you rewrite you're history books now that you hate us and write that US should have been liberated even with OUT massive support from french military?  and maybe benjamin franklin never got his idees from paris? maybe he didn't even visite the country...
<Stormrider> Lucien, do you speak German?
<Lucien> no, but swedish :P
<Stormrider> You don't speak German, though?
<Lucien> eh no
<Stormrider> You're welcome.

#69673 +(362)- [X]

(doggie^): im addicted to internet shopping or something
(slippy): me too
(slippy): i bought 5 internets the other day

#46899 +(3)- [X]

(@flawed) it's not rape until you get picked out of the line up

#610712 +(565)- [X]

<Phatt_One> crap is disgusting
<syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap
<syntax> im a plumber
<syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my family

#636215 +(866)- [X]

<KittieRose> So I get this email from this girl.
<KittieRose> "I made out with a chick and got mono..."
<KittieRose> I email her back.
<KittieRose> "If you'd have made out with two chicks, would you have gotten stereo?"

#240849 +(6142)- [X]

<Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
<bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls

#82059 +(276)- [X]

<sarcasmo> i hate it when i cant kick ppl
<sarcasmo> im twice as fast as other ops on #af
<sarcasmo> cos i i have twice as less life than they do
<sarcasmo> and therefor im in there twice as often and long
<sarcasmo> i like how i type sentances that build up to a pyramid
<sarcasmo> and then after a while they go back slowly
<ValHeru> rofl
<sarcasmo> just as they are doing now i guess
<sarcasmo> but u kinda interrupted!
<sarcasmo> which wasnt nice
<sarcasmo> -.-

#19072 +(581)- [X]

<dsif0r> that lil clip dude
<dsif0r> that microsoft uses
<dsif0r> he rules.
<quish> ...
<quish> no he doesnt
<quish> he's annoying as hell
<dsif0r> yes he does
<dsif0r> he always cares about my feelings
<dsif0r> people just treat him like shit
<dsif0r> and hes only there to help.

#4408 +(645)- [X]

<MosServ> Katto: They will keep fighting, they think that dying in battle for their God is the greatest honor. But they also think they'll go to hell if they have pork in their stomach. Solution: Pork bullets.

#260330 +(705)- [X]

<VOmitOry> I have a problem, every file i download gets corrupted, anyone know why? :o
<kn1ves> is your computer republican?

#85251 +(409)- [X]

<skmt> not really. once i reach level 20 virgin, i get a masturbation skill point.
<PACHUKA> skmt: that is the dorkiest think ever said

#13872 +(48)- [X]

TX Luder : dude, i made "still fly" my ringtone, i am now officially the coolest person
BeHeMoTh101 : reality check
BeHeMoTh101 : what color are you

#11389 +(93)- [X]

<Cu-Ius> 'in an interview recently Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards, said that kids should not do drugs. Keith, we can't do any more drugs, because you already fucking did them all. We have to wait until YOU die, then smoke your ashes"

#7751 +(164)- [X]

<X3M`Dodo> |TazHoliO| : If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins

#5927 +(702)- [X]

<@wickedsun> I dont know the difference between games and reality anymore
<@wickedsun> I jsut used a shotgun on my mother and she's not respawning

#304889 +(440)- [X]

* SamGamgee has joined #O-Gaming
<RavenBUSY> mister gamgee!
<SamGamgee> mister busy
<RavenBUSY> SPEAK FRIEND AND ENTER
<JDski> thats tattooed on my ex's ass


#229321 +(535)- [X]

<@amoeba> hey, what's the keyboard shortcut to discard the current buffer in emacs?
<@thatguy> do you have 12 fingers

#114332 +(1477)- [X]

<Kazak> man I am bored, Im gonna try some weird shit
<Nash> uh oh
<Kazak> HOLY FUCKING BLOODY HELL!
<Nash> ?!
<Kazak> I PUT A STAPLE THROUGH MY DICK!
<Nash> HOLY SHIT!
<Nash> You really are a crazy bastard!
*Killer_jeep has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> good fucking hell this hurts LIKE HELL
<Killer_jeep> What?
<Nash> he put a staple thru his dick
<Killer_jeep> DEAR GOD
*Killer_jeep has left the conversation.
<Kazak> shit now I have to piss! Brb
<Nash> this can&#8217;t be good
<Kazak> BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCK!
<Nash> what happened!
*Darkness has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> the piss flew out of the staple holes
<Darkness> WTF!?
*Darkness has left the conversation.
<Kazak> I had to straddle the toilet to get it in!
<Nash> are you gonna go to the ER?
<Kazak> are you crazy? no fucking way
<Nash> well try pulling it out
<Kazak> I can&#8217;t it hurts like hell if I try!
<Nash> well it has to come out sooner or later.
<Nash> better off sooner, before anyone sees you.
<Kazak> GODDAM THIS HURTS
<Nash> its your own fault, you know.
<Kazak> shutup! augh this hurts!!!
<Kazak> GRGGRFFFFDJH~!!11
*Aaron has joined the conversation
<Aaron> whats up guys?
<Nash> The crazy bastard put a staple through his dick
<Aaron> FUCKING HELL
*Aaron has left the conversation.
<Kazak> THANK GOD!!! I got it out!!!
<Nash> right&#8230;what about the holes?
<Kazak> uhh&#8230;
*Malaina has joined the conversation.
<Kazak> I&#8217;ll have to cover my dick with band-aids.
<Malaina> what the hell are you talking about?
<Kazak> oh shit. Nash, don&#8217;t!!!!
<Nash> your boyfriend put a staple through his dick
<Malaina> FUCKING HELL YOU SICK BASTARD!
*Malaina has left the conversation.

#126275 +(818)- [X]

#30380 +(560)- [X]

<Rage> Best pickup line ever is "Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"

#455441 +(611)- [X]

<BoTGoD> In the wet season, when my house lies at the eye of a particularly savage thunderstorm storm, lightning all around and power out, i like to masturbate - it makes me feel like i am thor


#455050 +(998)- [X]

* Hawk boots up Windows
<Beyonder> It's like a million mac users cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced...
<suds|finals> lol
<Beyonder> wait.. make that 5000 mac users, let's be realistic
<Evs> LOL
<SysError> XD

#451603 +(1392)- [X]

<sp4nk> I once knew this guy who kept a dream journal.
<sp4nk> Some little spiral notebook he'd keep by his bed.
<martyr> haha nice
<sp4nk> I'd get waken up in the middle of the night and find him writing shit in it. At 3 AM.
<sp4nk> Told me it was so he could remember the lucid dreams he had the following morning.
<sp4nk> So one night at about 1, I decided to have a look.
<sp4nk> As I suspected, full of shit about meeting dead people and flying across the Atlantic Ocean.
<sp4nk> He was asleep at the time, of course.
<sp4nk> So I grabbed a pencil and made my own entry.
<martyr> ROFL
<sp4nk> Something along the lines of: OH MY GOD I WANT YOUR BLOOD SATAN PLEASE LIBERATE ME FROM MY WRETCHED LIFE
<sp4nk> I swear, he was shaking the rest of that day


#450850 +(76)- [X]

Phanth: What is Black and Red and can't get through a revoling door?
Kono: what?
Phanth:A Nun with a spear through her head
Dev: LOL
Kono: ROFL


#462397 +(2021)- [X]

<Gregoray> Most embarassing moment would be when I finished wanking, and stoop up to do up my pants, when i noticed a red dot on my nuts. When i looked up, I realized my 13 year old niegbor and her 2 friends where watching me through my window and had a lazer pointer aimed at me



#460330 +(239)- [X]

<Blackwolf> i'm visiting my gf in the hospital tomorroy...yay
<ereque> whats up with her?
<altemark> ereque: she managed to dig herself up



#459217 +(2340)- [X]

<hoLy> Ouch
<hoLy> my friend is giving me a tattoo with a bic pen and a knife right now
<hoLy> hurts so much but he almost finished
<hoLy> Hes finishing up the I in SATIN
<Ruff> ...
<hoLy> Yeah, so it'll say HAIL SATIN
<hoLy> This is gonnna be awesome

#457531 +(382)- [X]

<sh> I wonder if odor eaters compete for odors, since presumably they need them to survive

*****
#455720 +(820)- [X]

<Dram> XP is basicly 98 with a lot more extra features to hunt down and disable


*****
#475913 +(1645)- [X]

<Insomniak> ow owow
<Insomniak> ow
<Insomniak> i hit myself in the nuts playing air guitar
<Insomniak> again
<nxn> darwin is hard at work


*****
#471449 +(1634)- [X]

<ppg> if guns kill people
<ppg> then pencils misspell words
<ppg> and cars make people drive drunk
<ppg> and spoons made rosie o'donnell fat

*****
#464561 +(1473)- [X]

<xp99> We all know that it is a sin for an Islamic male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.
<xp99> So next Sunday at 4:00 PM Eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.
<xp99> Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this antiterrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not terrorists, and to demonstrate that they think it's okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.
<xp99> And since the Koran also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side is further proof of your antiterrorist sentiment.
<xp99> The American Government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti terrorist activity.
<xp99> God bless America and GOD BLESS AMERICAN WOMEN! IT IS YOUR PATRIOTIC DUTY TO PASS THIS ON
*****
#485109 +(1489)- [X]

Ar0uNd » Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot his whole life, which
Ar0uNd » created an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
Ar0uNd » which made him frail, and with his odd diet, he suffered from very bad
Ar0uNd » breath. This made him.... what?
Ar0uNd » (This is so bad it's good...) --a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

*****
#381 +(611)- [X]

<^0_o^> i'm a girl's dream!
<^0_o^> if only i had a chance to prove myself...
<DooD> a paper bag will give u many chances
<DooD> if they cant see the face, they cant use the mace
 

*****
#344 +(569)- [X]

<concubine> NO CAPSLOCK! I AM UKRAINE


*****
#24 +(7033)- [X]

<ckx> women ask for it
<ckx> they act all old and mature
<ckx> and then you stick your cock up their ass
<ckx> and they get all bitchy
<ckx> "I"M ONLY 13, I'M ONLY 13!!!"

#394 +(360)- [X]

<blazemore> i hate when you're trying to own someone
<blazemore> and then you own yourself

#446 +(141)- [X]

<SYch0> my mom got rearended

#906 +(50)- [X]

<Jenosyn> i've seen piccies of u screwing things in your PC :)

#3751 +(249)- [X]

<djcrom> TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY
<djcrom> I ACCEPT VISA, MASTERCARD, AND WEED.

#3777 +(115)- [X]

<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when I am typing 
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :)

#4237 +(465)- [X]

<Geothermal> too many kitties in my life
<Kashan> masturbate more
<Geothermal> that's your solution to everything damn it
<Geothermal> "Just keep whackin' Geo!"
<Geothermal> well I'm tired of that kinda attitude

#5309 +(124)- [X]

<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays

#7841 +(27)- [X]

<Lizrdling> bunch other thatway doing swing.
<Lizrdling> bunch of me and others having a picnic.
<nebouxii> swinging? like having sex with each other?
<rob`> nebo; Stanford, not Berkeley.

#8447 +(59)- [X]

<Ryk> one of my favourite pastimes spotting boobjob scars.
<Ryk> nothing sexual about it. just like to beat the airbrush.

#9286 +(1026)- [X]

<jre> What should I read next, the Canterbury Tales, Don Quixote, or a book on Greek Mythology?
<GenericSuperhero> READE YW OLDE KANTVRBVRY TALES
<GenericSuperhero> THEYE ARE SHURE TO BEE VARY INTERASTINGE
<GenericSuperhero> HOPEFULLYE, YOU WILL READE IT IN THINE OLDE ENGLISHE
<EvilKosh> HELLO I AM JRE AND I HAVE TO READ HIGH FALOOTIN' BOOKS
<jre> GENARIKE, THOU ART AN FAGOTE OF THE LOW'ST ORDRE
<GenericSuperhero> THANKE YOU JAREE-EE
<jre> DAMN'D BE THOU SEED, AND MAY'ST IT NE'ER PRODUSE A PERSYONE OF ATTRAKTIVE CALIBAR
<GenericSuperhero> AYE, TISS MUSTVE HAPPENED TO YONDERS MOTHERE WHENCE THOU WAS CAPTURED WITHIN HER WOMBE!
<jre> THOU SPEAKST LIKE A RAGEING MANHAT
<GenericSuperhero> AH! THEN EYE SPEAKTH LIKE THINES FATHRE!

#9668 +(74)- [X]

DiamondbacksNo1Fan : Heh.
DiamondbacksNo1Fan : Theoretically, the human brain could act as quite the processor.
Eluorn : Theoretically.
can_of_mtdew : yeah, but a processor can't act like a human brain
DiamondbacksNo1Fan : We're talking in the terahertz range.
Eluorn : You plug your brain into a computer then plug it into the wall, and try to run Unreal Tournament 2k3
Eldoran : Err I dunno...
Eluorn : Blam. Instant South American dinner.

#10824 +(73)- [X]

<Hellwarrior> I bet I can suck my own dick
<Hellwarrior> one sec

#11066 +(100)- [X]

InVerSeX: I scanned my penis in a flatbed scanner once. 
The Spunn: did it hurt? 
InVerSeX: No, I didn't close the lid. 
InVerSeX: It was only a 14" scanner. 
The Spunn: Ah, so you couldn't scan the whole thing. 
InVerSeX: Exactly. 
The Spunn: I had to fold mine in half to fit it all on the 14" scanner, that's the part that hurt the most. 
InVerSeX: Well, I scanned mine limp and then used photoshop to get a stiffy.

#11906 +(294)- [X]

<ima`> www.google.com
<boy_scout> Open up fucking IE you lazy bastard
<ima`> i don't know how to open IE any other way

#12864 +(69)- [X]

<usagi> "As for religion and science, I'm placing a restraining order, Religion must stay 500 feet from Science at all times."

#14581 +(372)- [X]

<@crystalis> I wish I had a vagina
<@crystalis> I'd keep stuff in it
<@crystalis> like car keys and stuff

#15570 +(209)- [X]

<piglet3> [info] #gaysm      5       Don't f*&% with the topic PIG
<piglet3> They are into homosexual sadomasochism, but they can't bring themselves to spell out `fuck'.

#15769 +(372)- [X]

<jor>  NE SXE/F W/P N A/S/L PM ME PLZ IF U R D 1 2 C 4 A BJ KTHX

#17172 +(768)- [X]

* C|3avag3 has quit IRC (Quit: Wh0 Am |? U sure u wanna know? If somebody told u i was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied! This is my gift! It is my curse! Who am |? |'m Spider-Man!!!)
<Seaker> And lamest quit message of the day goes to C|3avag3
* Att|tude^ has quit IRC (Quit: I can't go on, I know not what to do, My heart is worn, I feel as If I'm through, Please believe in me. 'Cause what I need is for you.... To believe in me.)
<Seaker> Woah, tough competition today ... I think today we'll have to call it a draw.
* Love-snack has quit IRC (Quit: Quit playing games with my heart cause baby you're breaking my heart , I LOVE YOU FOREVER XXX)
<Seaker> *DING DING* WE HAVE A WINNER!!

#17405 +(79)- [X]

<Blade> what's for supper my beautiful wife?
<Blade> you on a silver platter?
<Blade> CPU: AMD Athlon Thunderbird clocked at 1453.26 MHz
<Blade> OS: Microsoft Windows 98 Second Edition [4.10.2222]
<Blade> RAM: 257MB / 512MB <29% load>
<Blade> Video: NVIDIA GeForce2 MX/MX 400 (1024x768x16 bits) <63MB/64MB video RAM>
<Blade> Sound: SB Live! Wave Device (Driver Version: 5.0) [Stereo]
<Blade> Network Interfaces: NDIS 5.0 driver (Ethernet) <10000000 bps> [5.4 MB received / 0.3 MB sent]
<Blade> Disk: a: ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB....c: (WINDOZE)[FAT32]: 4.4GB/4.9GB....d: (BUZINESS)[FAT32]: 12.4GB/12.6GB....e: (PLEAZURE)[FAT32]: 22.0GB/23.7GB....f: ()[]: 0.0GB/0.0GB
<Blade> Uptime: 0 days, 1 hrs, 2 mins, 3 secs
<SK> what a great prelude to sex.
<SK> system information.

#17966 +(32)- [X]

<ALT--F4> im a irc nerd 
<ALT--F4> i have spend up to 14 hours on here at a time
<ALT--F4> its my favorite thing until i remember that i have a penis.
<Majin-Buu> k you are weird
<Majin-Buu> ill have to take ur nick into consideration
Parts: Majin-Buu (none@h24-66-113-73.tb.shawcable.net) [21 users]

#26638 +(490)- [X]

<greenocide> Had to give report over censorship today.
<greenocide> So I put in a pr0n vid and they made me turn it off.
<OniSlave> Did u get an A?
<greenocide> I hope so, cause they kept the video.  Asshole teachers are probably wanking it right now.

#36275 +(126)- [X]

<chikster> I am 15
<hardlined> 15 is prime age to start experimenting with anal sex.

#38297 +(161)- [X]

[JJJTTT] what's this 707 thiong?
[st-707-afk] oh
[st-707-afk] that's LOL upside-down
[JJJTTT] gotcha
[st-707-afk] HTTP 707:  File Not Funny
[st-707-afk] that's gonna be one of my new error messages
[st-707-afk] well, neither of us are gainfully employed so that's what happens
[st-707-afk] sit here and think of stupid shit

#39571 +(59)- [X]

<+dilema> that sucked
<@corr> what happened
<+dilema> I spilled coke all over my keyboard
<+dilema> so now i got sticky keys 
<+dilema> NO... it's from the coke i swear
<@Lisa[NY]> uh huh
<@corr> haha
<creature> That's what they all say...
<+dilema> please when i am in pr0n mode I bust out the syran wrap to protect my keys
<+dilema> i know better

#39996 +(46)- [X]

<eukaunba> I cried when I had no shoes... but then I met a man who had no feet, and then I laughed.. REALLY hard

#42256 +(245)- [X]

<[Frank]> -=- Frank's Radio -=- 166.90.143.148:17714 -=- Now Playing: Terra Branford Theme - Piano STYLE! :D -=- Always Taking Requests!
<`Frieza> i request you go get hit by a car

#43731 +(254)- [X]

<ap> i have this new way of jacking off now. i blow my load on notebook paper. then just make a paper airplane and fly it out my window

*****
#47328 +(233)- [X]

<Corrupt_> brb i gotta stir the stew
<shaan> that so sounds like he is masturbating
<shaan> done "stirring the stew" there
<Corrupt_> all stirred up
<Corrupt_> i got some all over my face

#47667 +(4)- [X]

<teek> tenchi, ebay!
<_Tenchi_> bah fuck ebay
<_Tenchi_> i wouldnt buy a $9 cutlery set off of ebay
<fate-> heh, a friend of mine in London bought a chest of drawers off of ebay, had to go pick it up by car (an hour away)
<fate-> it sucked and wasn't of high quality like he expected, so we took it back, and on the way smashed it up, and left it on the guy's doorstep

#50827 +(198)- [X]

* Ouroboros does a robot dance in FLB's pants.
<FLB> ...
<Ouroboros> Well.
<Ouroboros> I mean.
<Ouroboros> You have spare pants, right?
<FLB> Yeah! Of course!
<FLB> That's what you meant
<Ouroboros> Yes.
<Ouroboros> It is.
<FLB> Umm.
<FLB> You can keep that pair.
<FLB> They're on the house.
<Ouroboros> KTHX

#61671 +(83)- [X]

<luciphur> think i'll go to kfc and get some blue pepsi
<luciphur> love that shit
<luciphur> and some chips and a kernel burger too
<luciphur> i mean, colonel
<luciphur> lol, got linux on the brain

#61680 +(232)- [X]

<Charlemagne> monkey? what kind of racial slur is that?
<Mercenary9> A primitive one.


*****
#61852 +(212)- [X]

<PuBeNeMy-> bahaha
<PuBeNeMy-> jaymee just walked by the bird
<PuBeNeMy-> and it yelled
<PuBeNeMy-> SLUT
<cvc> although it does sound funny
<Matt^^^> PuBeNeMy-: have you been teaching the bird dirty words?
<cvc> nah, he's been teaching the bird to be a judge of character

*****
#101150 +(106)- [X]

<superghos> sometimes my dick gets so hot it feels like it's going to burn a hole through my mouth

#118199 +(45)- [X]

<realmockturtle> i need to get
<realmockturtle> my nipples eyebrow and tonuge pierced
<realmockturtle> because apparently
<realmockturtle> that goes over well
<realmockturtle> oh yeah
<realmockturtle> not being a fatass would help too
<realmockturtle> but i can't solve that with a needle and a hoop

#189871 +(593)- [X]

<rade> so have u got a tree up yet?
<Selexion> like a file tree?
<Selexion> ?
<rade> a christmas tree..

#213624 +(176)- [X]

<Tiedyeguy> ok this DJ has a wierd sense of humor... "Campus police is sending out a warning about a prowler around the university... And now something on my personal playlist" *plays AC/DC - Night Prowler*

#217251 +(313)- [X]

<Binkster> since I started using OpenBSD... I went from six to eight inches!
<BSDuser> stop lying and your nose will get back to normal

#238929 +(140)- [X]

hadesup: for a quarter? you capitalist whore.
badgerwithagun: hey, a quarter is a fifth of a dollar!
hadesup: ...
hadesup:um. you mean fourth
badgerwithagun: whatever.

#257898 +(206)- [X]

<TehTipper> what do u call bread made by a buffalo?
<DoomGuyPaul> Unsanitary.

#351195 +(522)- [X]

*****
<squire> can anyone here help me, i just dled a movie and i dunno what to do
<kokoro> have you tried...watching it?

#374773 +(278)- [X]

<E-Claire> So how can I help?
<Mochomi> I just wanna know how to get on well with my bf, y'know?
<E-Claire> Ah. Well, I recommend you make him feel as good as he thinks he is...try laughing at his little jokes.
<Mochomi> And if he doesnt tell funny jokes?
<E-Claire> Laugh at his little penis.

#388717 +(1071)- [X]

<Jason> One time I walked into my parents bedroom and they were having sex, it was traumatizing for them
<Jason> Not so much that I walked in, but that I started shouting "LET THAT BITCH HAVE IT"

#428214 +(146)- [X]

({emily}): ACK! Amazon.com's gold box offer today contains CSE Natural Menopause Relief
({emily}): wtf?!
(Gwydion-): O.o
({emily}): then deodorant
({emily}): so I'm smelly and old.  lovely.
({emily}): and oooh, a yoga mat.
({emily}): smelly, old, and out-of-shape
({emily}): where do I put in my credit card number?

#583259 +(426)- [X]

Mr Kedian: I wonder if they have Santa vibrators
Mr Kedian: Santa can hurry down your chimney all year 'round with this naughty -- and nice! -- self-pleasuring tool. Please remove decorative hat before use.

#588662 +(667)- [X]

<Thuryn> a standard laptop battery would also be a great idea
<Thuryn> cell phones.... *maybe*.  the phones themselves are still changing too much
<Thuryn> pretty soon, the damn phones will be so small that the air movement from your speech will also power the phone
<Thuryn> but then you couldn't talk to your g/f, because *you'd* never talk, so your phone would die

#626251 +(5)- [X]

<Gorsha> im starting to get pissed with photobucket 
<Gorshal> i drew a simple picture and posted it in photobucket and it still shrank the picture to be tiny 
<Gorshal> i cant figure out wtf the problem is 
<PG> try uploading a pic of your penis 
<PG> it's the one thing small enough photobucket won't shrink

#635493 +(475)- [X]

<BenS> Matt, have you heard about that webserver that's running off a potatoe for power ... just displays a text smiley face and takes like 15 seconds to load?
<Omnica> Brings new meaning to the term "server farm"
<BenS> You should be shot.

#635901 +(465)- [X]

jrronimo: Hah! On a whim I figured I'd check some of the bigger companie for open jobs in Boulder... so what do I get? Comcast's career website: "Could not connect to remote server". Sounds like they've got a Network Engineer position open for me. :D